Posted by: Tanmoy Chakrabarti | November 11, 2008

Arranged marriage & top of my head

Most of us from India dislike arranged marriages, isn’t it? May be, some of us don’t dislike it all together but like many things, we find it fashionable to say we dislike the process and offer ideological explanations to justify the same.

To people outside though, the concept of Indian arranged marriages are not so disturbing. Even if we assume women here are just curious to know about the grandeur that is involved in one such marriage, I have even had a male friend (who happens to be one of the nicest and sane 27 year old I have ever met), telling me how much he wishes such a custom was prevalent in his community!

His intentions were pious and he was not joking. He thinks the process of finding a soul-mate is too strenuous at times and arranged marriages are not bad after all since you are aided by an entire family!

I found that interesting because there must have been some positives in the process to be admired about.

When I went to have my first hair cut out here at a Korean salon, the lady barber looked at the top of my head. Now please excuse my limited English vocabulary but try and imagine, the part of head from which hair grows out in a circular manner to cover the entire head (please let me know the English name in case you happen to know, and if it helps the part is called mathar talu in Bengali).

Anyway, even if you cannot imagine, coincidentally, I have two such places on top of my head which made the barber amused. She instantly quipped that according to ancient Korean proverb, I am destined to have two marriages! I immediately recalled when I was a child, my grandmother used to say that too for me looking at the same part of my head.

My grandmother has hardly ever ventured out of Kolkata, then how do the proverbs be the same?

I found this interesting too and it reaffirmed my belief we are all humans after all.



  1. The word you are looking for is the ‘crown’ of the head, Tanmoy.

    And – will this surprise you? – I am all for the traditional arranged marriage, provided the parents on both sides are halfway sane people, and they don’t exert much pressure on the couple-to-be to conform reluctantly to their choices, as, alas, too many Indian parents do!

  2. I knew about crown, but does that mean I have two crowns?

    I am also for arranged marriages, just that I never got an opportunity albeit I did not get the opportunity. I have seen most arranged marriages successful.

  3. the word that came 1st to my mind was ‘scalp’.i dont know if it comes even close to the intended meaning! 😉 but i did’nt get what u mean by u did’nt get the opportunity. anyway,u r lucky mate,2!! 😉

  4. I got it arranged for myself, so was spared the confusion of choosing a bride from photographs.

  5. well, i have to say then that u r lucky! i also believe in the institution of arranged marriages but i still believe that finding ur true love for life urself gives greater happiness, if of course handled with it is turning out i have to choose from photos too, the way life has gone for me so far.:(

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